Relapse
by Kilarra
Summary: Fear is a wall and the moment your back hits it, the monster comes out. So when Lucemon decides to destroy the Digidestined from the inside, they all have to learn that even the purest of intentions can be turned into a weapon. And in Duskmon's hands, every weapon is deadly.
1. Prologue

Irritating. That was the best word to describe his present situation. Deeply irritating, like the itch you can't scratch or the beeping you can't locate. Honestly, it was enough to drive anyone mad. As an already insane former dictator and current evil overlord, Lucemon was not at risk here. Still, the phrase resonated with him, bouncing off the walls of his hollow soul and echoing in the chasms of his mind. Drive him mad.

In the Dark Area, caged and paralyzed, there was nothing else for him to do. Sure, he could reach out, send tendrils of corruption into the minds of the vulnerable, work their worries and insecurities into a frenzy. That was always fun, and he usually got a nice pawn out of it. The problem was that these pawns were too frequently ineffectual. Yes, Cherubimon had dismantled the Celestial Triad, separating and imprisoning the only forces that could've possibly posed a threat to his plans. And the Royal Knights were coming along nicely with that feeding him the Digital World's data thing. Yet still the annoyance lingered.

How could six human _children_ prove so persistent? It baffled him. Yes, the Royal Knights were still thoroughly thrashing them at every turn. And if they couldn't harm the Royal Knights then they had literally no chance against yours truly. Still, something about them gave him pause. These children had defeated Cherubimon who, though weak, was infused with his own corrupting power. Still they lived, despite routine encounters with his Royal Knights, who also wielded his gifted power. Their resilience was not just about survival; it was a resistance to him and something he did not know how to dissolve. Additionally, for his plan of glorious rebirth to come to fruition, everything in the Digital World had to pass into pure data, human children included. Which presented a minor but truly vexing problem: how was he going to make them become dead?

A presence disturbed him, drawing his attention away from his own morose sulking and into the dark ether. The Legendary Warriors had been thorough; his isolation was absolute, save for one, small, pinhole. All darkness touched the Dark Area, passing through it, briefly taking form. Thus, over the eons, he'd learned if he was patient and listened, then all the secrets of the Digital World became his to exploit. The Warrior of Darkness had warned of this, pointing out that the Dark Area itself was neutral, neither good nor evil, and storing such a powerfully evil entity as him would tip the balance. The consequences would ripple through the Digital World, borne on a wave of shadows and despair. Obviously the other nine had disagreed, thus leaving him with a sliver of opportunity to once again become all-powerful. Oops.

These whispers where how he'd reached out to Cherubimon, feeding his isolation and resentment, whispering back into the corners of his soul. A slow and subtle blight which transformed him into a dark ruler and unquestioning slave. Similarly, he'd reached into the Royal Knights and discovered that which they craved yet could not request. Loyalty is an easy enough thing to cultivate, if one was skilled and subtle. And had time. If there was one thing Lucemon had had in the past, it was time. Now he was on a schedule.

This new presence was less "new" and more "sudden." Everyone had secrets, unspoken anxieties and doubts, yet none were more potently felt in the Dark Area than the Chosen of Darkness's. Strange how a little boy could be so intimately linked to the shadows. Lucemon had watched him since his arrival, sent him visions to torment his soul and lead him to Cherubimon, relished his agony-fueled rage and reveled in his self-destructive behaviors. His control over the Darkness was noteworthy, and when he'd managed to fundamentally alter the Spirits of Darkness with nothing more than the force of his will, Lucemon had briefly considered the possibility that he might have something about which to be slightly concerned. Then he'd quickly relinquished that power to his twin brother and it became apparent that he was no threat. The catharsis had made him quiet in the Dark Area. It had been a real shame to loose such a reliable source of amusement.

 _There has to be something I can do. Something more than just watching from the sidelines. After everything I did, after everything I put him through, I need to do_ _ **something**_ _to make it up._

The words bubbled up from some great depth of the Warrior's soul, slipping across the Dark Area like a breeze. Catching Lucemon's attention.

 _I thought I'd found a way to be strong, a way to fight, but now Kouji needs that power. I have nothing left to contribute. He can take care of himself, I know that, but the Royal Knights are too powerful. They've hurt him before and they'll do it again. And again and again until he's gone and I- I can't do anything. What happens when he can't fight anymore? How am I supposed to protect him?! I can't stand being so useless!_

Lucemon, had his lips not been frozen by his imprisonment, would've grinned. There it was: the sweet pain of his heart. The anger. Not gone, just directed at something new. How refreshing it was to know this child who he'd briefly considered to be interesting was still just that, a child. A lonely, vulnerable, impressionable, fearful child. Something fell into place within Lucemon's mind and he felt positively giddy.

Of course, it was so simple, so obvious! These children wielded the Spirits of the Ten Legendary Warriors. And like the Warriors, their power, their durability, was not an artifact of any individual factor. Rather, their strength came from their unity. Disrupt that unity, demolish their power. All he had to do was insight a conflict, which was so profoundly simple he almost wondered why he hadn't thought of it before. But he had, when this Chosen of Darkness had first arrived. It had been a slip not to press this particular advantage, which he would correct shortly. Once corrupted, always tainted. The boy was as good as his. He would destroy the humans from the inside, eroding their confidence and cutting their precious bonds. Once those were out of the way, the Royal Knights could pick off the remainder with ease.

Drive him mad.

Ideally this process would take place over the course of months as Lucemon slowly penetrated into his core. Gradually lacing the child's thoughts with his words, confirming every fear and generating new ones, cultivating the rage like a seed, until finally he forgot himself and yielded to Lucemon's influence. Until he believed that he'd made a choice, rather than been chosen, and followed the Angel of Corruption's every whim as if it were his own goal. It could be another game for Lucemon to play, and the idea of slowly eroding a human soul was terribly enticing. But, as previously stated, he was on a timetable. Which necessitated a slight acceleration of his plan. It might shave off some of the fun, but the outcome would be the same. And really, that was Lucemon's main concern.

"Dynasmon. Crusadermon." He summoned their minds, willing this new directive into them, feeling their responsiveness bend like putty in his hand. It was only a matter of hours before he got what he desired. "The boy who holds the Spirits of Darkness: bring him to me unspoiled. Now."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** It has been quite a while. I have been continuing to write the whole time but, since I have this nasty habit of taking years to update, I've instated a new policy: stories are done before the first chapter is even published. So this is complete and will be updated regularly. It's a short something I've been kicking around. Be forewarned, there are some twisted parts. It is listed under horror for that reason. But overall I would consider it mellow and introspective. Hopefully you'll all let me know what you think!

Enjoy!


	2. Part I

**Author's Note: First off, thank you so much for the reads and reviews! I'd forgotten how fulfilling it is to know someone besides me is enjoying my work!  
** **Onto business. So given my other history of 10+ page chapters and some recent, probably grad school related appreciation for having to read long digital documents, I've broken everything up into 3-6 pg chunks. Essentially, each chapter is a scene. I hope this will be less overwhelming and, coupled with regular updates, more manageable. This dude is more of a novella (~30 pg) and should be all up here in a little. It is mostly Koji/Koichi centric as I wanted to explore a more twisted side of being siblings, but the others aren't just gone or anything. For those interested, my next fic _Aftermath_ (almost done!) does have significantly more Takuya and Izumi!**

* * *

The firelight played on Koichi's features, accenting some and throwing others into obscurity. His mouth was tight, brow furrowed, and chin tucked, and the lighting only served to highlight the severity of his mood, making what he sought to conceal painfully obvious. Well, at least to some. Koichi was troubled. By what demons or for what purpose, it was impossible to say. Nevertheless, Koji knew there was something, some ache in his mind which manifested into an almost literal dark cloud. It had been a while since they'd freed him from Cherubimon's control, and some number of weeks since they'd dispatched Cherubimon himself, yet still Koichi refused to open up. Yes, he was present, he fought with them, ate with them, and traveled with them, but there was a disconnect. And since Cherubimon's purification, that disconnect had gotten worse, not better. Maybe if they'd been raised together… But they hadn't. That time had been stolen and it was up to Koji to make up for it now.

"Hey," he asserted softly, walking to his brother's slouching form. Koichi blinked, giving him a small but genuine smile. Unlike the passive façade he tended to favor, this gesture contained a rare warmth which seeped into Koji's very being. It gave him the courage to press forward, though he knew his inquiries would not be well received. He used his head to point off into the trees, to a private point away from the campsite and their sleeping teammates. "Wanna talk?"

Koichi made a confused face, his eyes narrowing in innocent suspicion. But after a moment he gave a shrug, pulling himself to his feet and gesturing for Kouji to lead the way. The two walked until they were just out of earshot.

"What's up?" Koichi's voice sounded completely unhindered and honestly curious, without a trace of sarcasm or pain. It was so convincing that Koji almost called their talk off, his fraternal worry meeting sudden opposition from his common sense. But upon turning it became apparent that this ease was only skin deep; whatever burden Koichi had taken on still weighed on his shoulders. He licked his lips and pressed.

"Actually, I was going to ask you that." A singular softness brought cadence to Koji's voice and, as he looked at his twin, he could see his own vulnerability reflected back.

"What do you mean?"

"Is everything okay? You seem… I don't know, like you have something on your mind."

"I do…" Koichi confessed after a long moment, biting his lip. Deciding how much to say. "But it's nothing important."

"Nii-san, if there's something bugging you then I want to know about it. Maybe I can help?"

"Koji, please, I'd rather not worry you. It's really nothing."

"Okay, I'm officially worried."

"You don't _need_ to be; I'm fine." There was a brief pause, then Koichi decided to change tack before Koji had a chance to formulate a more potent inquiry. "Where's this coming from? Did I do or say something that upset you?"

"What? No! Nothing like that!" Koji, suddenly very aware of his hands, pulled them up and began to wave a little, as if to physically dismiss Koichi's assumptions. Then he decided that looked silly and shoved them into his pockets. "I just… I get these feelings sometimes. Like, you're upset or something."

"Me too," Koichi said with another soft smile. "I think that might be part of being brothers. It's natural to be concerned about the people closest to you. I worry about you, too."

"I just wish you'd talk to me. We've been together for months and it still feels like you're keeping things from me. Like there's a minefield of secrets between us. I don't know, I guess that just makes me nervous. I mean, I share everything with you."

"Koji," Koichi tried, chewing on his lower lip as he searched for words. His fingers rubbed together nervously and his gaze drifted off into the shadows. "Sometimes secrets are necessary. They protect you from things you can't change. I know it's hard, but I need you to trust me. If there's something you can help with, then I'll tell you. Otherwise, just let it be."

"So you're saying I'm helpless?"

"No! That's not…" Koichi recoiled from Koji's sudden flare, taking a step back and putting an instant dampener on his indignation. "Koji, I've handled things on my own my whole life. I know you have some preconceptions about what being brother's is supposed to be like; I have them too, and I'm trying. But I can't just… flip a switch. I am trying, but…"

"I know," Koji sighed through his nose, pursing his lips and sending his own gaze tree-ward. "And I'm sorry. I didn't think it would be this hard."

"Me neither," chuckled Koichi, blinking in his direction and catching his eye. He held it for a long, intense moment, communicating more than either of them had said and sending chills down Koji's spine. "You know I would do anything for you, right?"

"Yeah… I think that might be what worries me…"

Koichi's lips parted, his nostrils flaring as he drew in breath and considered how best to react to that. His soft, sad eyes moved to his brother, cryptic, unreadable, and all Koji could do was stare back. It was paradoxical: in some ways the twins had such an intuitive, intimate understanding of one another, and in others they were total strangers. At his core, Koichi was compassionate, kind, and gentle. But around that core there remained a mantle of pain that sometimes even Koji couldn't breach. This was one of those times. The truth of that reality sank into his flesh, wet and cold and demoralizing as he met his brother's gaze.

"Ah, a wedge between the long separated twins, one of light, one of dark. Isn't it beautiful Dynasmon?" A new and horribly distinctive voice interrupted their moment, causing both to jump and spin. There was no one in sight, well, not until after the wave of fire burnt through every centimeter of forest between them and their assailants.

"If seeing the 'beauty' of their demise helps you in battle, Crusadermon, then yes, it is exceptionally beautiful."

"What do you want," challenged Koji, painfully aware of their disadvantage and probably eminent defeat. Still, he would not show these two any fear. All he had to do was stall for time; the others had surely heard the commotion and were on their way. Koichi shot him an apprehensive look, not feeling quite as confident in their plan.

"What does anyone want? Beauty, power, sovereignty," Crusadermon said passively, admiring the pink and yellow luster of his own armor.

"For now, however, we'll settle for you, Warrior of Darkness," Dynasmon finished, pointing one clawed finger at the older twin.

"The Spirit is no good to you," Koichi shot, frowning in a way that could've expressed confusion, indignation, or pure aggression. He pulled out his D-Tector, shooting Koji a signaling glance. Together, the two readied themselves for battle.

"Execute! Spirit Evolution!"

"Execute! Fusion Evolution!"

In a twinkle of periwinkle light, the twins were encased within the Warriors of Light and Darkness, both battle tight, both anxious for their friends to arrive. Holding off the Royal Knights for any appreciable amount of time was a challenge with two Unified Warriors; the brothers really didn't stand much of a chance in a fight. But that was assuming normal conditions. The fraternal protective instinct flowing through both made their current conditions… not normal.

"Foolish child! We have no interest in your pathetic Spirits," Crusadermon scoffed, though that might've been too strong of a word to describe the level or emotion attached. "Our Master requires _you_."

He was upon them in an instant, Pile Bunker imbedded into Lowemon's gut. The Warrior of Darkness choked in pain, doubling over and enduring the waves of nausea that emanated from the point of impact. Beowolfmon let out a scream of rage, raising his cannon and aiming it at Crusadermon, but Dynasmon inserted himself between them, covering the cannon mouth with his palm. There was a burst of searing light and Beowlofmon was thrown back by the force of his own attack. He landed hard in the ash, rolling to his feet and charging.

Lowemon was faring little better. The first blow had caught him off guard and Crusadermon now held him on the defensive with his Spiral Masquerade. Blocking the steel ribbons was challenging, but not impossible. Doing it while keeping an eye on his twin was another matter entirely. One snuck by and struck him in the right shoulder, sending him into a spin. Crusadermon followed through with his attack, closing in and giving Lowemon the chance he'd been waiting for. Using his own momentum, he swung his staff around and caught Crusadermon in the back. The armored Digimon let out a grunt of his own, reorienting.

"Well struck," he offered, possibly a little impressed. Lowemon tightened his grip on the staff, wordlessly settling into a battle stance. "But I tire of these games. Dynasmon."

There was no hesitation. Lowemon barely had time to turn and look before Dynasmon's attack landed. There was a burning light, followed by a flash of periwinkle, then Koji's battered form fell to the earth. Lowemon felt his heart stop as pure, ice cold fear tore through his gut. It wasn't an extended experience; Crusadermon came up quickly and ran him through with a sonic blast. In another flash of periwinkle light, the fight was over and the twins' unconscious forms lay side by side, curled up in the scorched earth.


	3. Part II

**Author's Note: Hi again! So I just wanted to quickly mention, in case you haven't already noticed, that I'm totally making stuff up with regards to the location, timeline, and Lucemon's capabilities. The idea is that this episode should be short and intense, while not really changing anything down stream, if that makes sense. I also wanted it to fit into that narrow but interesting period between Koichi's purification and him becoming comfortable with the team. Sort of where _Trust_ is, but more made up for the purpose of this story. Anyway, I just wanted to clarify that. Enjoy!**

* * *

When Koichi woke it was to notable pain, and not just from his injuries. True, his ribs ached and his head was pounding, but there was also a web of wires digging into his flesh, contorting his suspended body into the most unpleasant wad. At first he didn't understand what that meant; the conclusions fell in line slowly, like dominos in molasses. He was in a net, judging by the pattern in his back, and was being carried. Details filled in the crack, leading to a memory which tried to explain how he'd gotten there. A fight. The soreness of his body told him he'd lost. To Crusadermon and Dynasmon. Koji had been there.

Adrenaline hit his system like a meteor, electrifying every limb and revitalizing his brain. He bolted, struggling to sit up or otherwise reorient in the net. Wind tousled his hair and stung his eyes as he searched, looking desperately for some clue as to his twin's status. Koji wasn't captured with him, that much was obvious, but Koichi didn't see any signs of him in the forest below either. But they hadn't gone far; he could see the scorch where the battle had taken place. It hadn't been a quiet fight, so it was safe to assume the others had found Koji by now and were tending to him. Then they'd come for the dark brother. Shouldn't be too difficult, Crusadermon was making no effort to hide his haul.

"The Warrior of Darkness rejoins us," he said with mild disinterest, taking note of Koichi's squirming.

"Put me down," Koichi demanded, fingers coiling in the net as he tried to shoot Crusadermon a scalding look. "I told you, the Spirit is of no use!"

"And _we_ told _you_ ," answered Dynasmon, giving the human a glare of his own. "That Lord Lucemon has no interest in the Spirit. He has asked for you."

"He will get _nothing_ from me."

"That is not yours to decide." Without warning Crusadermon dropped his net, allowing Koichi to fall to the ground before he could scream. He landed hard on his side, gasping and curling up as the flare of pain reached its peak and subsided. His navy eyes caught a glint of pink armor and he stared at it with condensed venom. "Lord Lucemon requested your audience and your audience is what we delivered."

" _Lord Lucemon_ is still imprisoned in the Dark Area," spat Koichi, pushing himself to his feet. He reached for his D-Tector, cursed its absence, hoped Koji had it, and pressed forward. The others had seen Crusadermon take him; they'd be close. "He can't talk to me, no matter how much he requests."

"Not true, Warrior of Darkness," said an ice-cold voice like a dousing of frozen water. Koichi's body went past shivers and straight into frostbite. His muscles ceased up, his gut contracted, and his breath stilled as fear seeded itself in the back of his mind. "We are of one spirit, you and I. You are not safe from me, especially in these places where the world's core has been exposed."

Koichi's lips parted as he tried to breathe, every response dying in his chest as the waves of cold power radiated up from somewhere behind him. Slowly, simultaneously trying to stop his own body from moving, he turned, navy eyes coming to rest on the source of the voice. Less than half a meter away there was a rip in the earth, a gorge whose edges puckered up like a freshly opened wound. Within purple black organs seethed like serpents, pulsing, glowing as only pure darkness could.

He recognized it instantly, felt it reach inside him and take hold, and before he knew what he was doing he'd walked right up to the edge. Shaking, he fell to his knees, gripping the rim as he tried to stop himself from falling any further. The power of this darkness was overwhelming, consuming, so much so that he feared he might loose himself to it then and there. Anyone would've felt the pull, an irresistible magnetic tug on their secrets and fears, but as the Chosen of Darkness Koichi was uniquely sensitive. He knew that Lucemon understood that.

"What do you want," he whispered, wide eyes staring into the inky depths of Lucemon's prison. Something stirred, then two arms like those of a mantis rose up, wicked tips suggestively aimed at the dark twin. "What do you want with me?"

The arms gave no verbal answer. They arched over his shoulders as if in an embrace, then buried their points into his back. A scream of pain and surprise tore through Koichi's throat as his eyes went wide. Then the inflow started and he lost control of his thoughts.

* * *

"Koji! Wake up!" There were some other, perhaps more elaborate statements and demands, but Koji didn't catch them. The moment consciousness was upon him he was active, bolting to his feet with only the slightest of stumbles and looking around. Takuya, Izumi, Junpei, and Tomoki all blinked back at him, their expressions a collage of confusion, concern, and directionless anger. He didn't care. His eyes surveyed the four, concluded beyond a shadow of a doubt that a fifth one was absent, and then steeled as they came to rest on Takuya.

"Where are the Royal Knights? Where did they go," he demanded, tone bordering on accusatory. The Warrior of Flame, who had apparently been squatting by his unconscious body, stood, frowning.

"Where's Koichi," he asked, not getting the message. Koji's jaw tightened, lips curling around a more scathing retort as he began searching the horizons.

"They took him."

"Umm, guys," interrupted Tomoki, cutting of any further banter and drawing attention to himself with a raised hand. Or, to be more precise, to the black and grey D-Tector that hand cradled. He pursed his lips, unwilling to state the obvious; Koichi was indeed captured and he had no feasible means of escape.

"Damn!" Koji didn't even try to suppress the hysterics in his voice, taking the D-Tector from Tomoki and slipping it into his own pocket. "Where could they be taking him! They can't have gone far!"

"I think I saw them flying off that way," offered Junpei, indicating a direction with two fingers. "Crusadermon had something in a net; it must've been Koichi!"

Izumi's features settled into a mask of righteous determination and, without comment, she pulled out her own pale purple D-Tector and Spirit Evolved. Fairymon took to the sky, following Koji's earlier scan of the horizon. "There," she said, arm extended parallel to Junpei's "I see them!"

In a whirl of periwinkle light the other Legendary Warriors joined her, and no more than a few minutes after Koji's electrified consciousness returned to his battered body they were on the Royal Knights' trail. Across the scorched earth and through the remainder of the forest, their run couldn't have added more than another few minutes, tops. They were maybe five minutes total behind the Royal Knights, five minutes away from Koichi. Still, they arrived too late.

"Why take Koichi," asked Aldamon, hovering just above Beowolfmon as they sped through the brush.

"I don't know," he answered, face tight. "We were just having a conversation and they appeared out of nowhere and said Lucemon wanted him for something."

"That can't be good," said Beetlemon in what he'd meant to be an undertone.

"Wanted him for what," Fairymon tried to clarify.

"I don't know Izumi! We were too busy getting our butts kicked to ask! No thanks to you."

The others fell silent. Truth be told, Koji and Koichi should not have gone off on their own to begin with. That was the biggest fault here. But there was no anticipating that Koichi would be kidnapped and they all knew it. Koji was just lashing out, annunciating his worry with perfect clarity.

Beetlemon was the first to spot the Royal Knights as the hovered side by side passively observing something on the ground. Distracted. Tactical mind aflame, he dropped down into the brush with the rest of the group and signaled for quiet, indicating that they were close. Aldamon and Beowulfmon must've misinterpreted the 'let's ambush them' signal, charging forward out of the brush with decisive screams. They ground to a halt just as quickly, staring in horror at what met them.

Koichi was kneeling on the rim of some gash in the ground, wide eyes staring unblinkingly into the swirling purple energy within. Two tendrils of that energy rose up out of the earth and arched over Koichi's shoulders, burying themselves into the flesh of his back. Just medial of his shoulder blades. Glowing energy pulsed through them and Koichi's body twitched each time one of these waves entered him. Grimace after grimace rippled across his face and his fingers had curled up in the dirt, knuckles white. What was happening or why lost its immediate significance. They were hurting him.

"So the remainder of the merry band appears, how quaint." Crusadermon's voice gave an off hand comment, drawing most attention away from their teammate.

"What are you doing to him!" Aldamon's words were accompanied by a surge of flame, emanating from his armor as he charged his attack.

"This is Lord Lucemon's will," shot Dynasmon, folding his arms. "No one is to interfere."

Koichi let out an audible choking noise as his body tried to jerk away from Lucemon's embrace, his spine cracking. Beowulfmon snarled, pulling out his saber and staring intently at his twin. The decision was made for him as another groan of pain rumbled in Koichi's chest and he lurched into action, blade extended. In a flash he'd passed over the dark twin and severed his connection to the pit. Both tendrils still protruded from him, stretching outwards like fleshless wings as he arched his back, wide eyes cast skyward. Beowulfmon turned, intent on ripping these remainders from his brother, but they moved first. Writhing for a moment in either frustration or glee, the severed heads began to retract, burrowing into Koichi's flesh. They bulged beneath his shirt briefly, then were gone. The Warrior of Light caught his brother in one massive hand, trying to support his suddenly limp form and hold a blade between himself and the Royal Knights at the same time. His brown gaze was ice cold.

" _What have you done?"_

"What we were commanded." Dynasmon made a move like he was preparing for battle, but Crusadermon extended an arm to block him, continuing in a detached tone. "And now it is done. Our task is concluded; lay down your arms and we shall depart."

The two did not wait for the Legendary Warriors to put down their weapons. Correctly assuming that the group was too preoccupied with Koichi to pursue them, they simply turned their backs and began to fly off.

"Patience. The next time we meet," Dynasmon tossed over his shoulder. "There will be more fighting."


	4. Part III

**Author's Note: Hey, does anyone want to go give Destiny one more review? That's been driving me crazy for years... Also enjoy!**

* * *

Beowulfmon followed their retreat with the tip of his blade, all to conscious of his brother's trembling form in his other hand. In no more than a few seconds the Royal Knights were just dots of the horizon and Koji reemerged from a whirl of periwinkle light. One arm encircled Koichi, clutching him to his chest, and the other was feeling around his back, checking for any damage the dark tendrils might've caused.

"Is he…" Izumi probed gently, landing close by and shifting back into human form.

"There's something…" Koji answered, a frown creasing his brow. Silently, he signaled Izumi to come in closer. She kneeled, taking Koichi's shoulders and turning him so Koji could more thoroughly assess the damage. Licking his lips, Koji's hands tugged up the bottom of Koichi's shirt, exposing the pale flesh underneath. Two bruises were already forming where the tendrils had pierced him, veiny-blue, each about the size of an orange. Koichi jerked away when Koji's fingers attempted to explore the area, causing Izumi to wince.

"He's ice cold," she whispered, her jade orbs locking with Koji's for an instant as Koichi's weight was transferred back to his brother. The other three advanced, curious, and Izumi jumped back to her feet to stop them, pressing a hand to Takuya's shoulder.

"Give him some air, guys."

"Does he need air?" Takuya sounded endearingly concerned and confused, his question generating a slight tug at the edges of Izumi's lips. She was about to elaborate when a sharp, gasping sound cut the air. Koichi was awake. Both fists curled in Koji's jacket as he tried to pull himself up, straining against his twin. The task seemed to defeat him and he collapsed back, panting through his nose. His wide eyes darted from face to face before finally settling on Koji.

"Koichi! Nii-san, are you alright?" He received a confused, wild look that sent rocks into his stomach. Koji bit his lip and tried again, softer this time. "Do you know who I am?"

"Koji…" his twin said after a long pause, blinking for the first time, though his grip on Koji's jacket did not lessen. "How… did I get here?"

"The Royal Knights took you," offered Izumi, stepping just a little closer for support. For a moment she thought about kneeling again, then, not wanting to crowd Koji, decided against it. "You and Koji left the campfire to talk and…" She trailed off, noting Koichi's frown.

"Campfire," he repeated, pushing off of Koji and taking back his weight. One hand reached up to cradle his head, fingers entangling in his bangs as he pressed his palm to his brow. "What time is it?"

"It's the middle of the night," said Koji, a frown of his own descending like a storm cloud. He didn't mean to show it, but it really worried him that the older twin felt the need to ask. Three full moons shone brightly above them, bathing the world in distinctive, silvery light. Koichi buried how much that upset him immediately, closing his eyes and nodding solemnly. "How are you?"

Silence.

"Hey buddy, you doing okay," Takuya rephrased, shifting awkwardly and moving his head around, as if to get a better look at the dark twin.

"I'm fine," he brushed off their concerns with a smile, inclining his head up towards their worried friends. "I've had worse."

"Worse than being impaled," Junpei let slip, incredulous. All eyes slid to him and he blushed under the varying degrees of shock and disapproval. Koichi's eyes widened briefly, a shadow of fear crossing his face as he processed that little nugget. Koji looked like he wanted to hit him, but was distracted when his brother got to his feet. Brushing dust casually from his pants and actively pretending he hadn't heard Junpei's comment, he glanced around at his friends with a soft smile.

"Well, if it's all the same to you all, I'd rather not be here anymore."

"Right, of course!" Izumi gave a small headshake, as if to scold herself for not considering that he might not be comfortable lingering here. "We left Bokomon, Patamon, and Neemon behind anyway. They must be worried."

"I hope they're alright; it's dangerous to be alone. We shouldn't have just left them like that…" mumbled Tomoki, more to himself than anything, burrowing one toe into the dirt as he waited for everyone to reorient and start heading back.

"They're fine," reassured Takuya with a grin. "Probably right on our tails. We'll run into them on the way back and make camp wherever. I don't know about you guys, but I'm exhausted!"

"Yeah, it's a bit too much excitement for me," yawned Junpei, stretching and falling into step behind Takuya and Tomoki. Izumi hesitated, then joined the group. The twins hung back a little longer.

"You're sure you're okay," asked Koji, putting a hand on his brother's shoulder as he tried, and failed, to catch his eye. The dark twin pursed his lips, staring intently at the ground as one hand found its way to his chest, fingers curling in the fabric of his own shirt.

"Yeah," he said with a single nod. "Yeah, I'm just… a little cold."

* * *

Koichi couldn't sleep. He did _try_. He lay there, curled up next to his brother, for what seemed like an eternity. It wasn't a lack of fatigue; his whole being felt exhausted, like when sleep finally did come it would last for days. Yet his mind buzzed, half formed thoughts flicking in and out of his consciousness like specks of light at the edge of his vision: too faint to make out and too bright to ignore.

They whispered to him, taunting him, prodding him, taking fistfuls of his gut and twisting them into anxious balls. Then there was the cold. Yes, the night was chilly, but he seemed to experience it with an intensity none of the others understood. Goosebumps pricked his flesh in waves and, regardless of how close he was to the flames of their campfire or how tightly Koji's jacket was wrapped around him, the cold persisted.

Sleep evaded him. The buzz became whispers and the whispers became voices. And the cold concentrated in his blood, dulling his resistance and turning his limbs to stone. It was almost like it had nothing to do with the night at all, like it was coming from somewhere deep inside him, but Koichi knew that was impossible.

Despite what the whispers said, he _knew_ that _had to be_ impossible.

He couldn't remember what had happened to him while he was with the Royal Knights and sometimes that worried him. Junpei had mentioned he'd been… impaled… and sometimes that worried him too. Something was wrong, but between the voices and the frost he couldn't put a name to what that might be.

There was a moment where the fear got so bad, he considered waking Koji. But he didn't. The night passed and with each restless hour his mind changed. Over and over, the voices told him what was happening and then the cold took that knowledge from his memory. The longer they spoke, the more convinced Koichi became that they were within yet separate from him. The more convinced he became, the less worrisome it seemed.

By morning it Koichi understood that nothing was wrong. There was nothing to tell Koji or the others and nothing to be done about the cold within. The voices weren't his, but they had his best interests in mind, and they had something to tell him. Something that, eventually, whether he wanted to or not, he would have to accept.


	5. Part IV

**Author's Note: Now we're starting to get into things! I wrote Koichi's experience to reflect what it's like to go through manic paranoia and, to some extent, depression. Like there's a little rational you that's slowly loosing its grasp on reality. Before I was diagnosed with bipolar II, I thoroughly believed some interesting things and they made me angry on a new level. Hopefully I've captured a little of that, because it's truly terrifying. Because this was written as a single piece rather than a multi-chapter work, I recognize it's moving a little slow. But having read more on-the-computer stuff, I stand by my strategy.**

* * *

"How'd you sleep?" Junpei was doing his best to play it casual, to conceal the burning worry and curiosity that still rolled in his stomach. Koichi looked up at his from his untouched breakfast fruit. Bruise-like darkness colored the corners of his eyes, following the bridge of his nose down about a centimeter before diverting along his eye sockets. His usual amiable smile was strained and, although he'd returned Koji's jacket, it was obvious to anyone that the morning sun was not warming him. Something was off; Junpei could smell it and that concerned him.

"Just fine," the dark twin answered automatically, stretching his smile just a little. The lie was impressive, but just a bit on the obvious side. A warning gaze from Koji quenched the follow-up questions in Junpei's chest and he tightened his lips, exercising tact.

"I slept great," announced Takuya, stretching dramatically and cracking his neck.

"Eww," groaned Izumi, sending him a revolted face. "That did not sound like it was supposed to happen." Takuya grinned, following up with his knuckles and eliciting another wrinkled nose from Izumi.

"You're gonna give yourself arthritis."

"Nope! The sound is just gas bubbles going back into the joints. No arthritis here!"

"Really? That's not what my mom says…"

"I don't think that's been proven, Takuya," inserted Junpei, suddenly very relieved for their morning antics. "The gas part. Cracking you knuckles does _not_ give you arthritis."

"You didn't sleep at all, did you," Koji murmured to his brother, keeping his voice below the banter and giving him a sideways look. Koichi bit his lip, eyes dropping to his remarkably unappealing food.

"I couldn't," he admitted, matching Koji's undertone. "Can we not talk about it?"

"Sure. Okay." Koji nodded, reluctantly complying. They sat like that for a moment longer, before a memory jolted him back into conversation. Straightening, Koji fished something out of one pocket, holding it out to his brother. "Here. You dropped this."

Koichi reached for the D-Tector, but instead of accepting it, he pulled back as if shocked. A frown darkened his expression, his lips parting uncertainly.

"No, you keep it," he said coolly. "I don't want it."

"Nii-san?"

"It… It feels all wrong," Koichi breathed, as if trying to explain his refusal to himself rather than to his brother.

"Koichi, you need this." Koji did his best to keep the concern from his voice, but he knew enough had gotten through to signal his twin. Perhaps this was for the best, though; after another moment of considering, Koichi accepted the black box, handling it with just the tips of his fingers and stuffing it into his pocket. Suddenly very uncomfortable, he stood up, back rigid.

"I think I heard a stream nearby," he said, as if in a school play. "I'm going to go splash some water on my face."

"I'll come-"

"No, Koji, it's fine. I'll be right back, I just… It's fine." Koji frowned, but didn't try to stop his brother's retreat. Whatever had happened the night before was obviously still affecting him and, though his fraternal instincts railed against it, Koji's reason insisted that some space might be good for his brother. Eventually he was going to have to trust that, when he was ready, Koichi would talk to him. Until then, he'd have to get used to this… distance.

A brown gaze joined Koji's navy as Junpei watched the dark twin, interest still pricked. People don't just get kidnapped and impaled by shady energy and then wake up the next morning with no consequences. As much as he wanted to believe Koichi's assertions to the contrary, Junpei knew in his gut that, whatever had happened to him, had left a wound. And the longer that wound was left untreated, the more it would fester and spread. He understood Koji's desire to protect his brother's comfort, but the truth was the truth. Koichi needed to not be alone way more than he needed space.

"Junpei," Koji warned in a low voice, his eyes snapping to the Warrior of Thunder as he tactfully extracted himself from the joint-popping debate and made a move for the trees. He froze and shot the younger twin a sheepish look, grinning just a little.

"What? Water splashing sounds like a good idea."

"That's not what you're going to do."

"You don't know that."

"Koichi says he's fine."

"Do you believe him?" Koji's lips tightened, his eyes darkening. He didn't move, but there was a threat about him that made Junpei pause. Rephrase. "Look, I get that you're stuck, but I'm not. So I'm just gonna mosey on down to the water and if Koichi's there, just splashing his face, then that's that! I swear."

There was a pause during which both parties checked to make sure the other three were still engrossed in their breakfast discussion.

"If you upset him-"

"Hey, no worries! He won't even know I'm there."

Koji raised his eyebrows into an exasperated, skeptical expression and sighed, unable to still his own fears. Koichi said it was nothing, so it had to be nothing. And yet… He made no further protest when Junpei left, watching his back silently as a new ball of anxiety twisted in his stomach.

The Warrior of Thunder wasn't too deep into the tree line when the first sign of trouble forced him to pause. Koichi's voice wafted through the branches, low and broken, but distinctive. And unless he'd encountered some kind of incredibly soft-spoken Digimon, he was talking to himself. Junpei cast a single look back over his shoulder, then crept forward, taking extra care not to step on any twigs or leaves. Not that the dark twin would've necessarily noticed; he was deep in conference, his back to camp site, hands limp at his sides.

It was as if he'd been walking, then just… stopped. His head was twisted off to the left, eyes downcast as if to avoid an invisible conversation partner. Every now and then he would twitch or shudder, jerking in some attempt to deny whatever that partner was telling him. The reason for this became apparent to Junpei as soon as he was close enough to understand the words. Hiding behind a tree, he listened in, face tight with worry.

"No, they wouldn't… Why would you say something like that? They're our friends; they wouldn't let that happen…I do believe it… It's not going to come to that… Stop it! That's too far… I won't… he wouldn't want me to."

The worry turned to pure fear in his gut and Junpei had to swallow to keep it down. He couldn't hear the other person, or empirically verify that they were even there at all, but he got the gist of what they were saying. It wasn't good. He was just in the middle of deciding whether or not to get Koji or confront the dark twin on his own when he noticed something new. Koichi had stopped speaking. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he looked up from the spot of dirt he'd been consulting and met the other boy's eye.

"Why are you here?" His voice was soft, but mechanical, his frame wired and oddly formal. Junpei knew they weren't the closest of buddies as of yet, but that didn't mean he'd expected this level of frigidity. Stepping out from behind the tree, he laughed awkwardly and grabbed the back of his head.

"Who me? I just thought the stream sounded like a good idea and figured I'd come too!" It wasn't entirely false, and it wasn't like Junpei had any malicious intent. Yet the way Koichi narrowed his gaze, dipping is chin and cocking his head to one side, you'd think Junpei had just been caught cutting his breaks or something. Inhaling bravery, Junpei tried to press forward. "Who were you talking to?"

"There's no one else here."

"Yes, I see that now, I just though-"

"You don't like me very much."

"What," Junpei asked, taken aback by the sudden swing in topic. "Of course I like you!"

"No you don't. You don't trust me. It's like I never stopped being Duskmon to you."

"Koichi, you are my teammate and, more importantly, my friend. I trust you with my life every single day. And I absolutely _do not_ think of you as Duskmon; that was all Cherubimon and you're free now!"

Koichi looked at him, then up and to the left, as if consulting something there. Junpei watched, biting back both his comments and the urge to run back to camp to get help. This, whatever "this" was, was way above the scale of what Junpei had thought was wrong. Koichi needed help, not just his but the entire groups, and he needed it now. But before he could settle on a course of action that stone cold navy gaze was back on him, suspicious and distant. Yet this time there was something else too: a halo of pleading. As if he didn't want whatever the something had told him to be true.

"You would never betray Koji, would you Junpei?

"Koji?"

"You would never hurt him? He's my brother, Junpei. I can't let him get hurt; I have to do… whatever it takes to protect him. You understand that, don't you?"

"Yes…" Junpei said after a long pause, perhaps elongating the word a little longer than he should have. "Yes, of course. But I don't understand where this is coming from."

"We should get back," Koichi murmured, returning his gaze to his invisible partner. "It's starting…"


	6. Part V

**Author's Note: I'm out of town next week, so two chapters today! Yay! I might actually switch to doing two at a time now because I've got a squeak more time to proof read now that the semester is over. And I'd like to get this all up and start on Aftermath before things get crazy again. Speaking of crazy, enjoy these!**

* * *

"Wha-" Before Junpei could finish his question an explosion shook the ground and his answer rang through the trees. The Royal Knights had found their camp. Again. And their friends would be needing them… again. Without another word or even a glance to confirm Koichi had had the same thought, Junpei was off, sprinting back to their clearing. When he arrived, doubled over and huffing, EmperorGreymon was already in the air, attempting to hold off both Knights on his own. Koji grabbed his arm roughly, his stare pointed and expression ice cold.

"Where's Koichi?"

"He was right behind me, I swear! What happened? How did they find us?"

Koji didn't answer. His navy gaze was fixed on the tree line, narrow, waiting for something. Koichi materialized from the bark, eyes downcast, arms wrapped around his torso. For what was undoubtedly too long, the two engaged in some kind of silent communication where by Koji inquired and Koichi avoided. Unable to stand the sounds of EmperorGreymon loosing horribly, Junpei made the call, pulling out his D-Tector and deciding the two could finish this not-conversation when they weren't all in imminent danger. Both twins started at his sudden movement, refocusing their attention onto him. He met Koji's eye expectantly, prompting the younger twin to hold up his own D-Tector. A bright beam arced from the screen, initiating the Evolution.

"Thunder into Light," he said, sending a beam of whiteness skyward to join Koji's. Together, the two looked at Koichi, waiting. He looked back, reluctance carved into the creases in his forehead. A scream from above sent shivers across his skin and, closing his eyes and swallowing as if in preparation for something extremely unpleasant, he pulled out his black box.

"Darkness… into Light." In a swirl of periwinkle MagnaGarurumon formed. As he shot up to join the battle Junpei moved towards Izumi and Tomoki, checking to see if Koichi was following. He wasn't. He was fixated on MagnaGarurumon, face tight, clenched hands trebling around his D-Tector. Izumi noticed, and opened her mouth to comment.

"There is something seriously wrong with Koichi," Junpei cut her off, keeping his voice to an undertone. "Whatever happened while he was with the Royal Knights, whatever that purple stuff did to him, it is _not_ good. He's acting all paranoid and talking to people who aren't there and-"

"Paranoid? What do you mean," Izumi clarified, frowning and covertly looking over Junpei's shoulder. Koichi's lips were moving again, forming muttered words they couldn't make out and causing her frown to deepen.

"He's convinced Koji's in some kind of danger, I think."

"He's not wrong," mumbled Tomoki, wincing as MagnaGarurumon narrowly dodged Crusadermon's Pile Bunker.

"No, not from them! From us! I don't understand it, but it's like he doesn't trust us all of a sudden. Or at least doesn't trust me, but I can't imagine what I did to make him think I'd hurt Koji."

"How could he think _any of us_ would hurt Koji?"

"That's what I'm saying! They did something to his mind; he's not right. What if that's how the Royal Knights found us? What if they're back to finish it? We need to do something, like get him out of here!"

"What are you doing?" All three jumped at Koichi's voice, internally berating themselves for not noticing his approach. He was scowling at them, angry and disapproving. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing," Junpei evaded.

"We're worried about you," Izumi answered over him, stepping forward. She placed a hand on his shoulder, shuddering at the stone cold emanating from his flesh but holding her ground. "You don't seem well, Koichi. We should get away from the Royal Knights, find somewhere safe."

"And leave Koji behind," he snarled, shrugging her off and deepening his frown. "You would suggest we abandon my brother? He needs us."

"Yes, but not here, not now," she tried softly, attempting to defuse the tension.

"Koji needs to fight right now," Tomoki added, shoving his hands into his pockets as if he could find the words somewhere within the folds of fabric. "He needs us to be safe."

"They are hurting him and you're worried about yourself!" Tomoki recoiled as if slapped. Izumi and Junpei flared, uniting in his defense.

"Hey, lay off!"

"That was uncalled for, Koichi! We all want Koji to be safe, but right now he's the one with the power, not us! The best we can do is to stay out of the way!"

"Perhaps that's the best you can do," Koichi hissed, breaking eye contact to consult his levitating counsel. Only this time… All three of them could hear the whispers, like a breath through the grass, coming from the air around the dark twin. They couldn't make out any words, only a feeling, similar to the one you get when you realize you're trapped in a nightmare, but can't wake up.

"You don't have to remind me," Koichi muttered back. "I know we have to stop it… There has to be another way… Yes that's true, I don't need them, but that doesn't mean I should… What do you mean? Stronger how? ... He wouldn't want that; he'd get angry with me… I need to… I need to…"

The three human Digidestined all started talking at once, but were quickly cut off. Crusadermon's Spiral Masquerade landed a series of hits, lashing across MagnaGarurumon's armor and hacking off large chunks of it. He yelled, but that wasn't what had silenced them. Koichi screamed with him, his body seizing up, his movements sharp and jerky. He bent forward at the waist, one hand reaching back towards his shoulder blade and the other pressed to his scalp. His eyes were wide and, as Crusadermon landed another blow, he screamed again, wincing as if he himself had been struck.

"It hurts," he spat at no one in particular. "It hurts! IT HURTS!" There was a horrible cracking, ripping sound, pulling their collective attention to his back. At first there was nothing but the sound, snapping and popping. Then something: a pair of humps, growing, straining against the fabric of his shirt and forcing him to double over. With a singular tearing noise the bulges burst forth, spreading out like a pair of bat wings without a membrane to connects the bones. Koichi gasped, straightening suddenly, his eyes closing for a moment as these new, boney wings stretched out behind him. When he opened them again he looked like a different person altogether; a colder, more ruthless person that made the blood of all three onlookers freeze.

"Useless," he said in a low growl, raising the hand that held his D-Tector. A single stream of purple energy coiled around his arm and encased the device, pulsing. "You're all so useless. Execute Spirit Evolution."

MagnaGarurumon let out a scream of pure agony as periwinkle bands simultaneously encased both twins. An unconscious human form dropped from one of the shells. What emerged from the other could not be. Red eyes blinked from within skeletal armor. Curved, crimson blades glinted in the light. Silvery blond hair caught in the wind as Duskmon soared through the air, catching Koji's limp body. Setting him gently against a tree (away from the other three) he then turned his attention towards his target.

"That is the last time you harm my brother. Prepare yourself."

"Very well," said Crusadermon, turning his attention back to the ground. "I care little for the identity of my opponent. But I must warn you: you are no match for-"

Duskmon cut him off, red blade flashing as he leapt through the air. He couldn't fly, but that didn't make Crusadermon safe from his attacks. Koichi was such a gentle soul, so soft and caring, he'd caused them to forget the horror that was Duskmon. His movements were precise and lightning quick, his form little more than a blur of red as he hacked at the pink Knight. He managed to block most of the attacks but, for the first time in the history of their conflict, Crusadermon was struggling. Apparently unable to process the turn of events, EmperorGreymon and Dynasmon paused their conflict, watching. Junpei seized the opportunity and made a move towards Koji's limp form, intent on checking on him at the very least. But he didn't make it more than a few steps before an arc of energy opened the ground before him, blocking his path.

"You stay away from him," snarled Duskmon.

The distraction cost him as Crusadermon landed a blow to his chest, sending him through several trees. A dust cloud erupted where he hit the ground, but before either Royal Knight could begin to boast their victory the Warrior of Darkness emerged, swords glowing, forming a blood red moon. Crusadermon recognized what was about to happen, moving to block Duskmon as he burst forth, rushing towards Dynasmon at full speed. Overconfidence cost him dearly. He and Duskmon collided, but instead of protecting his partner, be was thrown back into him. The eyes in Duskmon's armor were starting to glow when Crusadermon held out a hand, signaling their second withdrawal. Dynasmon snarled, but followed his lead, leaving the Digidestined to their own dysfunction.

Duskmon was the first to disarm, touching down next to his brother's unconscious form and shifting back into Koichi. Mostly. The boney wings remained, arching out of his back like a pair of giant, glowing parasites. If Koichi noticed or cared, it didn't show through his expression of total disdain. Takuya took up a position by Izumi, returning to human form and looking utterly perplexed.

"Hey buddy," he called in a shaky voice. "Since when are you Duskmon again?"

"I am the holder of the Spirits of Darkness. I choose their form." He said this matter-of-factly, as if he'd always had the ability to evolve into Duskmon and just never chose to use it. Maybe he had… "And I will not stand by and watch your incompetence continue to hurt my brother."

"We've never hurt Koji and we're not going to," shouted Junpei, exasperated. "You're the one who's hurting him! What did you do just now? Rip the Spirit right out of him!"

"I did what I had to in order to compensate for your failure. You're his friends; you were supposed to protect him but instead you just stood there and watched as Crusadermon beat him! He trusted you to protect him yet you did nothing to lessen his pain! You did **nothing**!"

Koichi choked, stumbling forward just slightly as a pulse of energy radiated from the wings. It passed through the Digidestined like a draft, pricking their skin and upsetting their insides. When the dark twin regained his composure and looked back at them, his eyes were bloodshot.

"He's not safe with you; I can see that now. Stay away from us. This is your only warning: if I see you again, if you try to take Koji from me or turn him against me, I will end you."


	7. Part VI

Koji's first indication that he'd returned to consciousness was agony. _Everything_ ached or stung or stabbed or something. Organs he didn't know he had burnt while his head threatened to explode with every pulse of blood through the capillaries. In short, to say Koji was in pain would've been akin to pointing out that Mt. Everest is tall. He'd been injured before, beaten and bashed back into human form before, and even slammed against a wall so hard, his Spirit of Light was exposed. So it wasn't like this was his first experience or anything. He simply lacked the vocabulary to describe the torment his body was experiencing. The resulting irony was that, although nothing compared to the intensity of this particular experience, all his overwhelmed mind could think of was: it hurts.

The words congealed in his thoughts, oozing around in patterns of circular logic until another revelation emerged from the chaos. In order to regain consciousness, something had to have taken it away. The same something that had caused the pain… most likely. What had he been doing? Memories flickered like distant candles in a breeze, there then gone, appearing in such brief flashes it took several occurrences of the same thought to convince Koji that it was real. He'd been fighting the Royal Knights. Crusadermon's Pile Bunker. But no, Crusadermon couldn't have done this. If he'd been defeated by that Digimon, then he should be dead. Unless this was death… then _why_ did it hurt so _freaking much!_

"Koji? Are you awake?"

Yes. Operating under the assumption that he wasn't dead, the only other plausible explanation for his current circumstance was wakefulness. His face must've done something before that indicated to the speaker it was time for questions. But whatever muscle spasm had alerted the other to his returning thoughts was no longer quite so obvious. They felt the need to continue.

"Can you hear me?"

They sounded so familiar… His mind responded, latching onto the voice, digging around for an association. A word pushed its way past the pain to the surface of thoughts, nonsensical at first, yet strangely urgent. More urgent than the feeling of his kidneys trying to shrivel up into stones? The word seemed to think so, casting an image onto the backs of his eyelids, willing him into full awareness.

"Yeah," he groaned, sounding more like he was dying than speaking. "I can hear you."

"Thank goodness. You wouldn't wake up and I… didn't know what to do… I was afraid-"

"You don't have to worry so much Koichi," Koji said, pretending his smile didn't feel like a thousand tiny lacerations opening up on his face. He forced his eyelids to open, impatient for his vision to come into focus. "I'm good. I've had worse."

Koichi frowned at him, navy eyes glinting in disapproval. It was obvious that he did not believe Koji's fibs, which actually made the pain of grinning lessen a little. Then he faltered, noticing something irregular.

"Where are the others?" Koichi looked away, biting his lower lip nervously. He didn't answer. Koji pushed himself up, straightening his back along the tree trunk against which he'd apparently been leaning. His twin continued to avoid him, wrapping his arms around his torso, eyes flicking up and to the left in brief intervals, as if there was something there he didn't want Koji to notice.

"Koichi," he tried again gently. "Where are the others? Did something happen to them?"

"They're… gone…" Koichi answered slowly, refusing eye contact.

"Gone?! Gone where?!" He bolted up and was immediately forced back down, head spinning and stomach clenching as the pain surged back to the surface of his thoughts. His brother started at the sudden movement, grasping his shoulders and trying to hold him still. Koji resisted, squirming.

"I don't know, but I'm sure they're fine! Koji, please sit still, you got hurt really badly!"

"What happened? How was I hurt and why are our friends gone," he demanded, catching Koichi with a fiery look. Still the dark twin avoided, grimacing in his own right.

"I… I don't know. I don't remember…" He bit into his lip, eyes flicking to the upper-left again before returning to Koji. A frown creased his brow, like there was something incredibly confusing about that. Like it didn't really bother him that he couldn't remember so much as struck him as odd. Koji frowned back, concerned. First the abduction, then the tendrils of dark energy, now this… Why had Lucemon wanted the dark twin and what had he done to him?

"Nothing?" Koji kept his tone light, forcing the worry back down into the pit of his stomach. "Do you remember being attacked by the Royal Knights?"

"I do… I remember they took me," Koichi removed one hand from Koji's shoulder, pressing it over his left eye.

"Yes," he pressed gently. "That was last night. What about this morning?"

"Morning?"

"They attacked again. The last thing I remember was fighting Crusadermon."

"You're always fighting… It's why you get hurt…"

"Koichi, I need you to focus," He hadn't meant to sound scolding, but that was definitely how it came out. The dark twin dropped the hand that had been shielding his face and gave him a cold, indignant look. It… stung. Koji ran his tongue along his upper teeth, choosing his words cautiously. "I need to know how I was injured and where our friends are. Can you think for me? Can you try and remember?"

"I-" His eyes flicked left again and he withdrew entirely from Koji, standing up and watching the younger twin struggle for a moment to adapt to his absence. "I shouldn't."

"You what," Koji asked, clinging to the tree bark as a fresh set of ache and sickness pulsed rhythmically through his body. He blinked hard to clear away the black spots.

"Do you need water," Koichi asked suddenly, glancing around. "Or maybe food? You need to get back your strength… I can make us some tea, if you want."

"I want to know where our friends are."

"I told you; they're gone."

"Where'd they go?"

"I don't remember. They left you; isn't that enough?"

"No, it's not. I need to know why they left and where they're going. I don't understand why you don't."

"Because I shouldn't!" His voice cracked like thunder, so loud and harsh it made Koji's throbbing head worse. The light twin held up a hand instinctively, as if to shield his face from the vibrations of sound and… something unsettling. When he looked up again Koichi was pleading with him, brow furrowed and lips pursed. "And you shouldn't either. I don't remember much, just that. I'm your older brother, Koji; I have to keep you safe. I'd do anything to keep you safe."

"Koichi…" Koji breathed, more to himself than anyone. "What happened?"


	8. Part VII

**Author's Note: Hello all! The view numbers are a little weird, so I wanted to remind everyone that there were two parts the week before last, 5 and 6, so if you missed 5 things may be making less sense. And I rather like part 5. Sorry about any confusion! Or, if there was no confusion, sorry for the nagging! Enjoy Part 7 of 10!**

* * *

"I'll tell you what happened!" yelled a new voice over the sudden rustle and snapping of brush. Koji started, doing his best to turn without passing out. For the first time he noticed how dense the forest around them was, more like a burrow enclosed in tightly packed thorns than a natural clearing. How had the twins even gotten inside? Takuya's leg forced its way through the wall, kicking the opening wider so the rest of his body could wiggle through. "You're crazy brother turned back into Duskmon and attacked us; that's what happened!"

"You," snarled Koichi, suddenly much colder. "You're not supposed to be here."

"We couldn't leave you," called Izumi's voice, her scraped form emerging behind Takuya. Leaves and twigs decorated her messy hair. "You're sick, Koichi. The Royal Knights did something really bad to you and you need help. It's not good for you to be off on your own."

"I'm _not_ on my own. I have Koji. We were _**fine!**_ You're not supposed to be here!"

"Koichi! Koichi, look at me!" Koji's voice cut through the haze that had descended around his mind. The dark twin started, then looked down to meet his brother's eye. His breath went shallow, pupils dilating, flesh dampening as panic saturated his blood. Koji held him with his gaze, trying to emanate calm even as his own fear quickened his pulse. "What are they talking about? I need you to tell me what they're talking about."

"I don't want to upset you," he whispered, tucking his chin. "Please don't be upset. Don't get mad. I had to do it, so please don't be mad."

The breath caught in his throat and he shuddered, wrapping his arms around his midsection. His eyes darted this way and that, always returning to the upper left, as if something invisible was hovering there, something Koichi both feared and couldn't ignore.

"No, that's not true… I didn't want to do it… I didn't enjoy it… Why would you say something like that; it's terrible… I told you he'd be angry. I told you he wouldn't want me to."

Koichi's limbs uncoiled as something like electricity ran through him. Then he was on his knees with his hands pressed into his scalp, eyes squeezed shut as a low whine punctuated with choking noises scraped over his lips. His spine was arched and something bulged from his back, domes of bruised flesh bursting from holes in the backs of his shirts. Right where the purple energy had pierced him… As quickly as he could without vomiting, Koji scrambled to his side, cupping his brother's hands with his palms.

"It's okay. It's okay. I'm not mad. Koichi, are you listening? Calm down; everything's fine. I'm not angry, so everything's okay. Calm down."

"I had to do it. I didn't want to but had to. I couldn't let it keep happening, so I… I…"

"He ripped the Spirits of Darkness out of you and Evolved into Duskmon," Junpei clarified as he finished helping Tomoki into the clearing. "Koji, listen, whatever the Royal Knights put inside him, if it gets out then it will take over. That thing he's been talking to will take over!"

"Koichi," Koji said with renewed urgency, loosing his own pain to the wave of adrenaline coursing through him. He moved his hands to his brother's face, cupping it, forcing their gazes to meet. Koichi's irises had gone red like the blood moon, his pupils pits of yawning darkness and non-recognition. "I understand you had to do it, and I'm not angry. You're safe and I'm safe and everything's fine. Our friend's are here."

That, Koji quickly realized, was the wrong thing to say. Koichi curled back his lips and screamed as the purple-black wings tore out of his back. Their tips bent like mantis arms, reaching over both him and his brother and burying themselves into the dirt. Forming a wall of protection between the twins and their teammates.

"Our friends," Koichi spat like it was a swear. "Care nothing for you. They only want you for your power, to use you like a shield so their own flesh remains unscarred. This I will not allow."

The wings began to straighten, dragging Koichi out of his brother's grasp and lifting him to his feet. Koji collapsed, curling into a ball as a fresh wave of agony twisted fistfuls of his stomach, flesh, and brain into stabbing knots. Awareness left him for a moment as he struggled just to remain conscious. Koichi didn't seem to notice his brother's distress. He stepped over his shivering form, advancing on the other Digidestined.

"I warned you," he hissed, head stretching to one side, allowing his spine to release a sharp crack. "I told you I would end you, yet still you came. You were going to wait until I was gone or asleep, weren't you. You were going to sneak in here and take Koji from me, throw him at the Royal Knights and Lucemon and anyone else you're too cowardly to face. You were going to hurt him again and you thought I'd just stand by and let it happen!"

"Hey, chill man," shot Takuya. "We are _all_ out there risking our necks for the Digital World! We're Digidestined, it's what we do! I know you're still in there Koichi, somewhere underneath this _thing_ the Royal Knights turned you into. I know you understand that!"

"I am no different than I was. Lord Lucemon had done nothing but show me the truth and grant me the power to do what I have to. I will _**not**_ stand by any longer while Koji is harmed. _**I won't!**_ "

A pulse of pure darkness burst from Koichi's wings, passing through them like a cold fog and rattling the brush in all directions. His breath came in pants, pale skin shining with sweat.

"Lord Lucemon? Can't you hear yourself," Izumi pleaded. "He's the one trying to destroy both the Digital and the Real World! He's the one who wants to hurt Koji, not us!"

"Think about it, Koichi," Junpei added, moving to Izumi's side. "Who controls the Royal Knights? Who sends them on their missions? Who tells them what to attack?"

"You can't distract me; I know the truth now. You four are the real enemy! I can dispatch the Royal Knights with ease if they try to hurt Koji, but you poison him! I won't allow it."

He pulled out his D-Tector, summoning the fractal code to his other hand and preparing to Spirit Evolve. But then he froze, blinking in confusion and looking down. Koji had hooked one hand around his ankle, dragging himself through the dirt until his other arm could reach Koichi's pant leg. He grasped it, pulling himself even closer, forcing his aching eyes to look up. To lock with his twin's carmine orbs.

"Stop it Koichi," he said in a low, even voice. "You don't have to do this."

"They're want to take you away from me," Koichi answered, his own tone cold and matter-of-fact, but with a softness none of them could really name.

"But they're not going to. I'm not going with them, Koichi; I'm going to stay here with you. And they're leaving. So there's no reason to Spirit Evolve. There's no need to fight."

"I warned them what would happen if they came for you."

Koji's gaze flicked to Takuya and the brown-eyed boy frowned, but nodded in understanding. Gritting his teeth and balling his fists, he took a step back.

"Come on guys, let's go. We're obviously not wanted here."

"But-"

" _Come on._ "

Wordlessly, the four Digidestined retreated back through the thicket, their gazes flicking uncertainly between Koji and his possessed brother, lips pulled tight over the thousand things they'd rather say. Koichi watched them go, red eyes wide and unblinking. He waited until they were out of sight to put away his D-Tector, his wings folding behind him. But they didn't melt back into his body. A small cough constricted his ribs, then another, and his nostrils flared in annoyance. Without comment, he spat something bright red into the dirt next to Koji.

"Koichi," his twin breathed, eyes widening at the sight of it. "Are you… hurt?"

"We must go." Koichi ignored him, eyes scanning the brush for signs of treachery. "This place isn't safe anymore."


	9. Part VIII

**Author's Note: I rather like this section. The irrational self doesn't think it's being irrational, it feels perfectly justified and certain. So pitting it against someone who is truly rational is all sorts of interesting. Fun to write about, less fun to experience. I also enjoyed revisiting Duskmon's mannerisms and playing with his motivation and responses. Any way, hopefully you'll all enjoy it too! Let me know what you think!**

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"Koichi, where are we going?" This wasn't the first time Koji had asked, and something told him it wouldn't be the last. As before, his brother gave no answer. His carmine eyes stared forward, expressionless and unseeing, his breath coming in unsteady pants through his nose. Every now and again he would cough and blood would splatter across the dirt, but he gave no other indications that he was in any pain. Koji half wondered if the dark twin even knew he was there, trailing behind him like some kind of servant. Following the tracks left by those cursed wings as they brushed the ground.

"Please say something." Silence. For the first time in hours, Koji tried something new. It was a gamble, one that could easily end with a fresh fracture in his already aching soul. But he had to try. "You're hurting me."

Koichi froze, blinking slowly and deliberately. He looked back over one shoulder and gave Koji's pale and sweating from a sort of appraising look. Then his gaze drifted upward, consulting whatever parasite Lucemon had put into his mind.

"You were injured," he said in a slow, detached tone. "You should rest."

"That's not what I meant," Kouji sighed.

"Sit," Koichi ordered, indicating a tree trunk just to their right. When the younger twin didn't move, he frowned. One black-purple wing unfurled, stretching towards Koji and catching him in the stomach. The admittedly light blow sent him stumbling back into the wood, gasping and clutching his middle. Koichi's frown deepened. For a moment he considered something, weighing options Koji couldn't even begin to understand. Then he moved silently to his brother's side and sat down at his feet. Koji sighed again, scooting down the bark.

"Thank you."

"What for?"

"For staying with me. I know you don't think they would hurt you. I know it's… difficult for you to believe me. But I'm you brother and I know best how to keep you safe."

"Koichi…" Koji swallowed, his chest collapsing. "I understand what you're trying to do, and I appreciate it, but… why?"

"Why," Koichi repeated, incredulous. "Because they were hurting you. Because they stood by and allowed you to fight the Royal Knights even though you're clearly outmatched. Because they abandoned you."

"I'm the holder of the Spirits of Light and as a result I have a Unified Evolution. Izumi, Junpei, and Tomoki don't. You don't. So yeah, I throw the punches and take some of the hits, but that doesn't mean I've been abandoned. When I fight, I use all your strength, not just my own."

"That's sentimental but it doesn't change the fact that they allow you to fight alone."

"Takuya is right there next to me!"

"This is why I had to get you away from them. They're toxic. They fill your head with insanity and you call it friendship. I can't allow it to continue."

"I don't understand what's happened to you. Why did you become so paranoid?"

"Paranoid!" Koichi's voice dropped to a snarl, his black wings pulsing with indignant anger. "I see things clearly; you're the delusional one."

"You weren't like this yesterday. You've never been thrilled about me fighting the big fights, but you didn't think it was some sort of cosmic conspiracy designed to get me killed! You knew who the enemy was! You trusted our friends!"

Koichi's hand moved like lightning, his fingers digging into the space just below Koji's cheekbones. His head cracked against the tree trunk before his twin brought their faces together, staring intently into his eyes. Koji looked back, recognizing the single-minded ice inside his brother all too well. The clouds of someone else's will swirling inside him, wrapping around him like string. Later, when this was all over, would he even remember? Would Koji and the others be able to forget?

"That. Was. _Weakness._ "

"No," said Koji slowly, his tone even and calm. He reached up and pulled Koichi's hand from his face, making a fist around his ice-cold fingers. "What you're doing now, pushing everyone away and isolating yourself, _that_ is weakness."

Whispers hissed through the stagnate air, a gust of external influence through their argument. He couldn't hear what they were saying, exactly, but Koji found he didn't need to. The hairs on the back of his neck pricked, unease churning in his gut as he watched his twin's eyes move up and to the left, his pupils dilating as his reason was pried open an rearranged.

"No…" he breathed, recoiling from Koji and standing. "No, you're wrong. This is the only way to be safe."

"That's not coming from you, Koichi, you _know_ better than that! Think about it for just a minute!" Koji was pleading now, pushing back against this invisible force, grasping at the part of his brother's mind he could still reach. "Can't you remember the way you were before? Can't you remember what the Royal Knights did to you?"

"I couldn't help you before! I had to just sit there and watch them kill you! You have no idea what it's like; you've never been helpless. Lord Lucemon gave me the power I needed to never endure that again and I will _**not give it up!**_ "

"Lucemon's the one trying to kill us both! Why don't you understand that? Separating from our friends has only made us all more vulnerable. The Royal Knights will pick them off and then they'll come for us and then no one will be around to save the Digital World!"

"I won't let that happen-"

"You are _one person_ Koichi! You can't stop it. _I_ can't stop it. We're not strong enough alone, neither of us! Real strength comes from a team. It comes from the bonds we share with other people and it's the only way we're going to live."

"Bonds are fragile. They break. If you allow yourself to depend on people, they will leave in your moment of need and everything will fall apart. It's better to be alone."

"If you really believe that then what am I doing here?"

Koichi opened his mouth to retort, but instead a series of coughs came out. Each was worse than the previous, until he was doubled over, blood dripping from his lips and staining his teeth. The whispers started again, louder this time, emanating from his boney wings like waves of tangible cold. Shouts inside his head. He grimaced, fingers curling in his hair as he fought to maintain his sense of self in the storm. Koji was wrong. Koji was wrong. And yet… His twin kept going, standing and grasping his shoulders. His eyes were hard and passionate, his voice rising over the whispers. Ringing.

"It's because I'm your brother Koichi, and I'm the most important person to you! I know that's it. I know exactly what it's like because you're the most important person to me! We can't let each other go, and we never should. This, what we have, it's a bond that I refuse to let break, no matter what! I will fight for it and I am asking you, right now, to fight with me! Come back to me, Koichi; let me help you!"

"I… I…" Koichi looked up into his brother's navy gaze, carmine stare shaking as sweat beaded on his forehead. The wings sensed his faltering, stretching wide behind him and sending out a pulse of black energy. Koji was torn from his brother, his back smashing into a tree trunk a meter or so away. For a moment his vision darkened before refocusing on the dark twin's suddenly erect form. "I don't need any help. You're jealous of my power, but nothing you say will change the fact that I am stronger now than I ever was before. You can't take that away from me."

"That thing coming out of your back is twisting you, can't you see that? They put it there to warp your mind and it's killing you! Please stop! Don't let them _**do this!**_ "

"Be _**QUIET!**_ "

One of the wings arched over Koichi's back and buried its tip into Koji's right shoulder. He screamed, hands curling around the hard bone as it pressed into his flesh. Hot blood welled to the surface, staining his shirt with a dark circle. As they both watched, the circle spread, drooping downward, soaking the cloth, dripping. Koji looked into his brother's face, breath shaking, face paling. Broken…


	10. Part IX

**Author's Note: Man, I was sure I'd provoke a response with that last chapter! Ah well, I'm going with you read so you like. ^^ Also, I'm back on the fence about these sorter parts. On the one hand, they feel a little unfulfilling, but on the other they're more manageable to read. This was written as a continuous, 32 pg piece, so maybe it just doesn't work well in this format. But upcoming (once this is done it will go up) fic Aftermath is written in 8-12 pg chapters. If anyone has an opinion about posting this in 3-6 pg increments, but updating like 3 times a week, let me know! And also enjoy the revelation!**

* * *

They both stared at the wound for what felt like an eternity. At first Koji just looked shocked. He raised one hand to feel, fingers curling around Koichi's broken wing. A shaky breath hung suspended between them. Then the pain hit him full force and he yelled, trying to pull the hook-like bone from his flesh. Koichi obliged, ripping it out with an awful, squishy noise, and Koji collapsed onto his knees, hand pressed over the wound in a vain attempt to stop the bleeding. His eyes were filled with confusion and… was it fear? Did it matter? He'd wanted to come between Koichi and his power, to reduce him back to a weak human. But without his power he'd be unable to protect his brother. This was necessary to subdue him, for his own good.

The blood was for his own good…

Koichi inhaled sharply, blinking away the vision and holding himself perfectly still. Koji stood before him, whole and pleading. He hadn't actually struck him, but that changed so little. The wings wanted to do it; he could feel their need. Their aching hunger for pain and destruction. They longed to spread, to move across the world and kill everything, hoarding all life for them alone. That included him. That included Koji.

Some broken thing inside his mind snapped back into place. A jolt of pain and comprehension shot through his skull and, in an agonizing instant, he was lucid.

"No," Koichi cried, pressing both hands over his face shaking. "No. You can't. I won't let you! You said I could keep him safe! You said I could protect him if I did what you wanted! And I believed you! Why? Why! What have you done to me!"

"Koichi," Koji called, concern lacing his voice. That was when the wind started, powerful, vortexing around the dark twin. It whipped his hair and clothing, threatening to drown out Koji's voice. Behind him the dark, deformed wings stretched wide. They encircled him, cradling their host, defending their possession from anything that might try to take it away. Koji felt himself harden, resolve giving him strength he wouldn't otherwise have had. "Fight it Koichi!"

He heard the words from a long ways away, and even then they were muffled, as if shouted from under water. The forest around him had come alive with phantoms, each more gruesome than the last. To his left, Koji lay battered on the ground, his fractal code exposed. It arched over him, shimmering in the half-light of the forest, until some monster called it away. Koji's body shriveled as it left, desiccating, his skin shrinking against his bones as life abandoned him. Until he fell apart into dust and blew away.

And as soon as he was gone Koji reappeared, holding burnt hands before him. His flesh was a mess of char and boils and blood. Trembling. He'd never be whole again. There was no sound, but as Koichi watched his mouth formed words. "Takuya… why?" Of course, the Warrior of Flame. He was responsible! Maybe it was a loss of control, or perhaps it was intentional. It didn't matter. Koji was suffering and the one he called best friend was the cause. They were all dangerous, each a hazard in their own right. How could he allow his brother to be around such people?

Then there was Koji, holding his gut closed as brilliantly red blood flowed between his fingers. A faceless enemy stood before him, someone with a blade. Koji looked at him, pleading, unable to fight or flee. The blood was so red, so wet, it splashed at his feet. Curved steel glinted, wet in its own right, raised above the attacker's head. His brother opened his mouth to scream, but when his throat fell open only a faint gurgling sound emerged.

And before him Koji was on his knees, beaten. Cuts and bruises marred his flesh and, when he tried to speak, Koichi added more. His darkness lashed out as a physical force, opening his brother's cheek. Need churned within him, a desperation to cause pain and spread suffering. He wanted it so badly it stung. He craved power like a biological imperative. He needed to strike Koji down, needed to make him submit. Yet the need wasn't his.

"You can't make me! You can't use me for this!"

" _Do as you're told_ ," the air hissed, so loud Koji could hear it clearly. The wings pulsed, black energy feeding the storm, whipping through the trees and forming a physical barrier between the twins. " _Do as you're told or your brother dies!_ "

"Don't listen to it! If you can't trust yourself then trust me; everything it says is a lie!"

" _Didn't you say you'd do anything to protect him? Don't you care? You have come this far, you cannot stop now._ "

Koichi retched, falling forward onto his hands and knees and spitting more blood into the dust. Koji felt his stomach clench, a cruel mixture of fear and rage making him sick.

" _You cannot deny what you are, no matter how you struggle to be something else. Surrender. You know what you must do. Kill those people you called friends and bring your twin in line. You know it's the only way_."

"You're wrong! I… remember now. We're a team; we look out for each other, all of us. They're good people, they aren't dangerous. You said they were a threat but they're not! They never were… I will not hurt my brother and I won't hurt our friends anymore."

" _You will if you want to keep him safe. So do what needs to be done to protect him, even from himself. You are a servant of Darkness, do your duty."_

"But I'm not…" Koichi looked up, bright red lips contrasting vividly with skin that was too pale. He found Koji's eye and the younger twin's breath caught. His eyes… they were navy. "I'm not a servant."

" _Of course you are! You desired the power to keep your brother from harm and I granted it._ "

"I don't care! I never asked for this! I never asked to be a monster…"

" _Semantics. Cease this, now!_ "

"No, I won't." Koichi tucked his chin to he chest, fingers curling in the dirt. Above him the parasitic wings spread wide, flexed and suddenly faint. Like they were made of smoke rather than bone. "Koji's right; everything you say is a lie. He's not as fragile as you think. He doesn't need me to protect him. He's not so easily broken and neither am I!"

There was a scream like wind through broken glass and Koichi gasped, arching his back upwards. Flesh puckered, doming around the wings as the base of purple energy lengthened. Like a splinter being pushed out.

"Get out!" Koichi choked, hacking up more blood. His spine twisted and cracked as he writhed, knees and hands pressed firmly into the ground. The wings collapsed, concentrating down into a pair of spikes between his shoulder blades. For a single, terrifying moment the two seemed to be at an impasse. Koji tried to call out, to encourage or reassure or something, but his voice was stuck. All he could do was wait, standing on the sidelines as his twin fought for his soul. Another scream tore from Koichi's throat and, squeezing his eyes shut, he tensed his entire body. Lucemon's corruption was expelled, dissolved into a fog around the dark twin, then, finally, dissipated.

The wind stopped and suddenly there was nothing between the brothers. Nothing to keep them apart. Koichi's arms and legs trembled, giving Koji enough warning to slide in before he collapsed. Gingerly, Koji maneuvered his brother so he could cradle him against his chest. His head lulled back and, for a moment, Koji was pretty sure he'd lost consciousness. Then his eyes twitched, a weak frown creasing his brow. Slowly, an exhausted navy gaze met its twin.

"Koji," he asked, voice raw and confused. "Koji… what… happened?"


	11. Part X

**Author's Note: Ultimately I think I like how this turned out. It's not my best work, but I like that I wrote it over the course of this last crazy year. Looking back as I put it up, it really does go through the stages of having a meltdown. This last part in particular feels very satisfying because I know I never would've recovered without a support network, even though it's still really hard to feel like a burden. But that's the beauty of Digimon! Even though everyone's different, they all contribute their own thing and no one's dead weight. Anyway, here's hoping you all enjoy it as much as I do! Also, let me take this opportunity to refer you to Aftermath, which may be my best work.**

* * *

Once again, the dark twin sat bathed in firelight, his shadowed features speaking far too obviously of defeat and misery. He hadn't said a word since Koji, reluctantly, explained the entire ordeal. Not to his brother and not to the other Digidestined. Shame burnt so intently in his chest he couldn't even meet their eyes. The others didn't seem terribly keen to talk to him either. They watched, suspicious of his torn clothing and bruised back. Of his pale skin and blood shot eyes.

Koichi couldn't blame them; he didn't want to be around himself either. Even the briefest version of events painted a painfully clear picture: it had happened again. After all his brave declarations he'd tried to kill them all again. After all their time together, all the hard earned trust they'd managed to cultivate, the friendship, he'd still sought power and given into corruption. For what? To keep his brother safe? To take his place in the fight? Just like he'd wanted to take his place in their father's home. Take his life.

He remembered the beginning now, the chasm of seething darkness and the arcs of energy like mantis arms piercing his back. Monsters sinking deep into his flesh and soul. He remembered the agony, screaming, and the feeling of being invaded on the most personal level. The sensation of his mind being torn open and inside out. Koichi remembered the violation. And he could still see the visions of paranoia, like nightmares of his brother dying over and over in a thousand different ways. They dripped with tar, so obviously false to the waking self and yet so convincing in the arms of sleep. None of that was real or even a sick version of what had actually happened. Simply dreams to keep him occupied as Lucemon used his body to tear their team apart. And it had worked.

He'd let it happen.

The final moments were also clear; like waking up. Waking up in someone else's body, or perhaps the desecrated remains of your own. In his mind he'd impaled Koji with those cursed, boney wings, carrying out the task Lucemon had so desperately wanted. Severed their connection as brothers forever. Even though Koji said that hadn't happened he remembered it vividly. See the blood spreading in a dark red circle from the point of impact, feel the wing tip as if it were his finger inside the hot wound. He also remembered fighting back, realizing what he'd become and rejecting it once more. Pushing the evil out like a sliver of glass imbedded deep in his skin. The pain lingered, an awful cramp of taught muscles that stabbed him in rhythmic pulses. Justice.

"Koichi." He jerked away from Izumi's voice as if she'd struck him, curling into himself. She sighed through her nose, looking to the others for help. They all sat in a line on the opposite side of the fire, staring at the twins in a painful silence. She couldn't take it anymore. "Koichi, please. We need to talk about this."

"No we don't," snapped Koji, his anger igniting at Koichi's side. "Leave him alone."

"No, Izumi's right," Junpei cut in, rubbing his hand together nervously. "This needs to be cleared up now, before it can do anymore damage."

"You're going to let this thing interfere with being a team? This is exactly what Lucemon wanted!"

"And he did a damn good job of it," Takuya shot, his own anger flaring. Izumi reached over and grabbed his hand, giving it a calming squeeze.

"I'm not saying right now," she tried diplomatically.

"No, it has to be now," Koichi said in a low but clear voice. The movement of air across his tongue brought forth the fresh flavor of copper and he shuddered, turning to the side to spit lingering blood. Silence dropped like an actual weight, making even the fire seem colder.

"Koichi, you're not recovered yet," Koji insisted, his voice as soft as it could be. He placed a hand on his brother's shoulder, causing the dark twin to wince and instantly regretting it.

"It has to be now, before… before… I don't have the words to say how sorry I am. I can't…"

"It's alright," Izumi soothed. "We understand, really."

"But you don't. I tried to hurt you. I _wanted_ to hurt you. There's this… this _thing_ inside me that I can't control. It's not safe to be around me, I can't pretend otherwise. I understand. You should just leave me here."

"We're not going to do that!"

"This is what I am. I thought if I walked away from Cherubimon it would end but it hasn't. Please, I don't want to hurt you anymore."

The words fell from him, as if Izumi had broken a dam and let the flood of regret out. Koichi trembled, unable to process his own emotions.

"Hey buddy, give yourself a break," Takuya said, taken aback. "That wasn't you, we get that."

"And you did fight it," Tomoki added, his small voice punctuating the night. "You came back to us, that's really what's important."

"Don't act like I didn't betray you. Don't pretend you're not afraid of me."

"Well sure we are." Junpei received a series of dirty looks from basically everyone, but shrugged them off. Koichi looked up for the first time, swallowing as he met Junpei's eye. The Warrior of Thunder struggled to hold his gaze, shifting awkwardly. "Duskmon is terrifying and if we take anything away from this experience it should be that he's still a part of you."

"He is… I can't help that."

"But so what? We all have demons and we've all had to face them. You just… You've gotta be more careful. And you need to trust us. We make our own choices and we can handle ourselves. If you think your crazy switch is going to flip you've gotta let us help."

Izumi gave Junpei a small, sideways smile. Koichi just blinked at him, frowning. He looked so conflicted, so small and bewildered it was almost difficult to remember Duskmon's cruelty.

"But I do trust you…"

"Yeah, it kinda seems like you don't."

"We're your friends, Koichi" Izumi cut in. "It's just some of the things you said… well… We're not judging you, we just need to know that you understand that."

"I…" Koichi trailed off, dropping his gaze once more to the dirt. Koji pursed his lips, reaching over to rest a hand on his twin's knee.

"About what you said," he started, trying to find the right way to phrase it. "When you were- you said I didn't need you, but that's not true. I do need you, just the way you are. I couldn't fight without you."

"Man, we all need you," interjected Takuya with a forced smile. "That's what being on a team is; we have to look out for one another."

"I've never been part of a team. Ever since I can remember I've had to be strong on my own. My mother… she's needed me to be strong. I want to believe you, but I feel so useless. You say I'm important but I don't understand how."

"This is new to all of us," sighed Junpei. "You think anyone would've had me on their team before now? I had to use magic tricks and chocolate to get people even talking to me. So I get that it's hard; we just have to figure it out together."

"You're not alone anymore," said Koji, catching his twin's eye. "Neither of us is alone anymore. Everyone here is your friend and you're not useless to us. All any of us want is for you to believe that."

Koichi swallowed, the echoes of Lucemon's corruption still whispering in his mind. But Koji was so earnest, and there was no blame in anyone's stare. Just concern. Worry. About him. They cared for him and, with sudden clarity, he realized that he cared for them too. He needed all of them because they were his friends, which meant they could need him. Koichi told himself, firmly, that he wasn't useless to them. Silencing the doubt in his mind, he nodded, his lips stretching into a little smile.

"I'll try."


End file.
